Our garage has two windows similar to the ones in our home. The only difference is that they are much cheaper because they do not need to be double-paned or anything too fancy. Unlike the windows inside, the garage windows also get very dirty because they are exposed to the “elements.” Flies, bee, and other winged creatures often leave their mark or find their death on the sills of those windows. When I came home from work the other day, I heard this horrifyingly loud sound as well as the buzzing of wings. The sound was coming from one of those windows in the garage. Upon further examination I saw this huge bug-like thing continually banging its head on the window in an effort to fly himself (or herself) to freedom. As a human being I understand that a window is see-through and cannot be penetrated. Before you think you are superior to the insect world, I’m sure some of you reading have face planted into a screen door. You know who you are. I had to wonder what was going through the mind of that flying bug. For three days he was at my garage window. Freedom was right in front of his face, but he could never seem to experience it. He kept banging his head against the window in hopes that this time would be different than the last time.

It is very frustrating when you can see freedom, but not experience it. It is very painful to keep ramming your head into the same old thing time and time again, but not be any closer than before. Have you ever felt like this? I have. This feeling usually comes when I am angry with myself for continuing to do that which I should not or ignoring my responsibility for doing what is right. The Apostle Paul felt the same way when writing to the Christians at Rome, “For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice” (Romans 7:19). Paul was not making excuses for his sin, but expressing frustration with his own inconsistency in choosing right. At times, I’m sure he felt as if he was returning to the patterns of his old life while at the same time desiring to receive freedom from the bondage of sin. This is where I live everyday. I know what God expects, but I struggle to free myself from the grips of sin. I’m not sure that there is an easy answer for this life. We will always struggle with sin in this life. True freedom will not be realized until Christ returns in the clouds to take those who are His. Until then we must rely on God’s forgiveness. John writes, “If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

The good news is that the mammoth, flying insect finally made it out of my garage (after 3 days) and flew to freedom. If he ever gets caught at the window again, I hope he remembers how he escaped.